


Tear Us Apart And Call It Love (we will love the same way)

by citrusfriend



Category: Christian Bible, Original Work, Religion & Lore - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Gen, Good Lucifer, Older Sibling Lucifer, an alternative take on the war in heaven, bc i know jackshit about any others, can i tag christianity as a fandom or is that blasphemous, god is a woman, god: an explanation, primarily western religion parellels, this is basically an athiest going "what if i wrote an au on the christian god"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 07:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15680802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrusfriend/pseuds/citrusfriend
Summary: She hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. She wanted them to feel what it was like to be mortal, to be finite, to know how freeing it was to live in a world with a body. And after they were done, she would help them Become, just like Mother did for her. But she hadn't wanted this.





	Tear Us Apart And Call It Love (we will love the same way)

**Author's Note:**

> Based on "Wrong Side Of Heaven" by Five Finger Death Punch.
> 
> This could honestly be summed up by "christianity as written by an athiest with an imagination"  
> Anyway, I wrote this is like 30 minutes and haven't edited it but??? it's probably okay right  
> Also I wanted this to kinda be a "god trying to be a good mother, but irrevocably fucked up bc of her own shitty parents" type thing? Idk. This was honestly just a self-indulgent thing

She didn’t want this. She never wanted this, but now that it was happening, she didn’t know how to make it all _stop_.

She hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. She just wanted to give her children the same experience that she had, before her Becoming. She wanted them to feel what it was like to be mortal, to be finite, to know how freeing it was to live in a world with a body. And after they were done, she would help them Become, just like Mother did for her. Some of her children would stay with her, and she would adore them for it, but others would leave to make their own children, their own planets. And she would adore them for it too. She would maintain the tradition they had held for millennia, and her children would be happy.

But _this…_ She hadn’t wanted this. She hadn’t cared much when her children misremembered her as a man, but now she wondered if she should have. She had laughed when they began to worship her, but now she wished she hadn’t. Maybe now her daughters would be better off, maybe the children who misinterpreted her gentle guiding wouldn’t be killing, maybe this wouldn’t be happening if she had just helped them a little bit farther instead of leaving them to their devices as she set about creating another world. She left them with her words, which they recorded diligently under many different names, but in the centuries she had devoted to her other planet, they had begun to destroy themselves on a scale she never conceived _possible_.

She wanted her children to return to her, of course she did, but not like this. She wanted to give her children a chance to learn, to grow, but not like this.

As she watched the wars wage on, heard the desperate prayers, smelled the pungent, tangey scent of blood, felt more and more of her children rejoin her, she wondered what she did wrong. She didn’t want this. She _never wanted this._

She wondered if this was what Lucifer meant when he warned her against creating a universe for her offspring. Wondered if he was right to tell her that there were consequences to the Veiling that even Mother couldn’t rectify. Wondered if she should have agreed to let her children keep their memories instead of Veiling them, tradition be damned. Wondered if she had already doomed her children on her other world as well.

Wondered if all of this was her fault.

She had been a fool to allow them to believe Lucifer a villain. She should have struck down the entire concept of the so-called 'War In Heaven'. There was certainly a dispute, and she regretted many of the harsh words she and her beloved brother had exchanged, but it was never a war, and in the end, she allowed the third of her children who wished to, go with Lucifer to a different world with their memories Unveiled--they weren’t far, still in the same universe they and a few of her other siblings had created, where she could watch them grow, but far out of her domain. She had been so proud of the rest for trusting her, for loving her enough to follow tradition.

Now, so many of her returned had refused her offer to Become. They didn’t want to be Gods, they said, not if it meant they would become what _she_ had.

So they joined Lucifer, who took them with open arms and let them relive mortality, to relive in their temporal bodies. To be happy.

If she still had her body, if the Becoming hadn’t returned her to her spirit state, she would have cried. She didn’t want her children to hurt like this, didn’t want them to twist their natures so cruelly, didn’t want them to hurt and twist each other. She just wanted them to be happy like she had been on the world Mother had made. What had she done _wrong?_

“Dear sister,” Lucifer sighed when he saw her despair, “this was always their fate. The world we were sent to by our Mother suffered the same. You cannot strip them of their natures, of their memories, of their family, and expect them to be unchanged, to be _sane._  Just as many of our siblings did before, they will rip themselves to pieces in a desperate attempt to know what they’ve lost, to know why they feel so empty. You were just too blind to see it until they were already doomed.”

**Author's Note:**

> (pls comment and tell me im clever)


End file.
